Anyone with a loved one suffering from dementia knows that feeling of sadness that comes with a visit to a dementia care community. Yes, you know that this is where mom or dad or granddad needs to live now, but still, you wish it wasn’t so. Imagine the feelings of a teenager who is now going to have to visit their grandparent (or in the worst case, their parent) in such a community. They will undoubtedly struggle with a variety of emotions and may not understand why certain care procedures take place at the community. So let’s talk about how to deal with dementia care and the teen child.
Talk about the move
No doubt, your teen has watched with alarm as their grandma has begun to drift away from them and fails to remember their name or even who they are. Obviously, you’ll have explained the disease. Now you must explain why she needs to move out of their home and into a specialized dementia care community. It’s probably a good idea to take your child on a tour with the administrator before the move so he or she can get information about their loved one’s new home. Ask the community administrator or the person responsible for family coordination to set up a special tour aimed at explaining dementia care to younger people.
Arm them with information
Teens today live on the computer so point them to some reliable sites that explain about dementia care from a teen’s perspective. For example, the Alzheimer’s association has a section on its website entitled “Talking to Kids and Teens.” For kids who are really struggling with these changes, there are even camps and retreats designed just for teens with parents or grandparents who have Alzheimer’s.
Let them vent, then reassure
Teens are going through so many life changes and this situation can pile on added stress and other emotions, including, of course, sadness but maybe anger too. They may worry that the disease is contagious or that mom and dad are going to develop it, notes the Alzheimer’s Association, so get those concerns on the table and work to reassure your teen. Your child may also feel guilty about getting angry with grandma or being embarrassed to tell friends that her grandma lives in a place full of people that act differently. Again talk it out and explain that such feelings are normal and will go away over time as the family adjusts to this “new normal.”
The bright side
OK, maybe there are few bright sides with this sad and cruel disease; but you may find that this experience helps your teen develop greater empathy, compassion and even maturity as he or she learns how to communicate to granddad. Staff at a good dementia care community will certainly be there to help the child during visits and provide reassurance that his or her visits mean the world to the grandparent, even if it’s not always obvious.
What experiences have you and your family had with teens and dementia?
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The best dementia care programs have many programming, safety and accomodation components. Learn how we've combined these to bring the latest in dementia care programming to our communities.
